Online Dating Site Profile

I enjoy women who can banter and parry in conversation. A woman who can trade burns without feeling criticisied. A dry wit and a drier martini are a perfect combination. I am interested in women over forty and will not respond to anyone who is younger. Do not send pictures of your pets. I have pets, I know what a dog or a cat looks like. I am not interested in women who are separated. I've been down that road and will not travel it again. Single, divorced, or widowed only please. Pls no Christians. I am an Agnostic and am not interested in your guilt or your salvation. I enjoy Paegans and Wicca types. If you ride a motorcycle, have lots of tattoes, or like others who do I am not interested. I do not enjoy Nascar, Monster trucks, halter tops, or Daisy Dukes. Beer is for people who's objective is too be intoxicated. Drama queens pls look elsewhere. If you like country music I will not call you. If you like long walks along the beach, watching sunsets, do that with your dog. If you drive a car that is red, I am not interested. Don't tell me you like camping. No one over the age of 40 enjoys sleeping on the ground. If you have never lived outside your home town pls do not respond. If you don't know who the B52's, The Ramones, Iggy Pop, Morphine, or Patti Smith are then we have nothing in common musically. If you can get around the City using the subway you score points. If you read Cosmo you lose points. If your toys are larger than I am it is not issue as long as you know how to use them safely. Being rushed by Emergency services to hospital with a phallus lodged in my bleeding rectum is not the perfect ending to a romantic evening. I am not interested in fathering children. I have taken measures to assure that never happens. If you hunt, sport shoot, or own firearms I recognise your Constitutional rights however I can honestly say you're an accident waiting to happen. If you are having correspondence with incarcerated felons I am not interested in meeting you. If you watch Jerry, Maury, or Montel I am apt to wonder why you aren't working, taking a class, or otherwise being productive.